Mother’s Day on 30 March this year can be a difficult time when you no longer have a mother. As others are making a fuss of their mum it can bring up your feelings of loss and sadness.

Working on the Helpline we hear from many younger women supporting their mums when they have breast cancer but sometimes the roles are reversed.

Occasionally we get calls from mothers whose daughters have been diagnosed. They are often at a loss as to how to support their daughters. At the same time they need support and information for themselves. They talk about so many emotions and questions.

‘I feel helpless.’

‘The situation is out of my control.’

‘I don’t know how to support her without smothering her or stepping on her partner’s toes.’

‘I want to know what is going on but don’t want to upset her.’

‘What about the children? They’ve decided not to tell them about the diagnosis and I have to accept their way of dealing with the situation.’

‘Is she going to die?’

‘What will happen to her children if she dies?’

‘I feel excluded from the details of her treatment.’

‘My daughter has refused treatment. I'm frustrated and terrified by her decision.’

‘I feel guilty that she is so young; this should be happening to me not her.’

How can we help?

We know how important it is to have the right information when you need it and a place where you can share your concerns sometimes with someone who doesn’t know you or your family.

  • Our Someone Like Me service may be able to arrange for you to be in touch with another mother who’s supported her daughter through breast cancer. She’ll be a trained volunteer.
  • Our online discussion Forum has a dedicated area for families and friends of people with breast cancer where you can talk about your concerns and get support from others. The Forum is easy to use and professionally moderated.
  • Calls to our Helpline are answered by nurses and trained staff with experience of breast cancer. We’re here to answer your questions about breast cancer and to provide emotional support.

All our services are free and confidential where questions and thoughts that you don’t feel able to share elsewhere can be expressed in a safe place.

Find someone to talk to

 

‘I feel helpless.’

‘The situation is out of my control.’

‘I don’t know how to support her without smothering her or stepping on her partner’s toes.’

‘I want to know what is going on but don’t want to upset her.’

‘What about the children? They’ve decided not to tell them about the diagnosis and I have to accept their way of dealing with the situation.’

‘Is she going to die?’

‘What will happen to her children if she dies?’

‘I feel excluded from the details of her treatment.’

‘My daughter has refused treatment. I'm frustrated and terrified by her decision.’

‘I feel guilty that she is so young; this should be happening to me not her.’

How can we help?

We know how important it is to have the right information when you need it and a place where you can share your concerns sometimes with someone who doesn’t know you or your family.

  • Our Someone Like Me service may be able to arrange for you to be in touch with another mother who’s supported her daughter through breast cancer. She’ll be a trained volunteer.
  • Our online discussion Forum has a dedicated area for families and friends of people with breast cancer where you can talk about your concerns and get support from others. The Forum is easy to use and professionally moderated.
  • Calls to our Helpline are answered by nurses and trained staff with experience of breast cancer. We’re here to answer your questions about breast cancer and to provide emotional support.

All our services are free and confidential where questions and thoughts that you don’t feel able to share elsewhere can be expressed in a safe place.

Find someone to talk to