My friend and I discovered we had breast cancer, so we went big for our Afternoon Tea

I joined the ‘Big C’ club in February 2024, aged 45

I discovered a lump in my boob after I had a fall in January. I didn’t know if it was because of the fall or if it was already there.

The lump subsided, seeming to disappear. But it re-surfaced a month later, presenting itself to the doctors as a suspected abscess. At the breast clinic I was seen quickly, due to the risk of the abscess bursting.

In my initial examinations their concerns were obvious

They found more lumps in my armpit and neck. I left the hospital that day with a cancer diagnosis, awaiting results from the scans and biopsies for the full prognosis.

Feeling scared and bewildered doesn’t cover it.

I was diagnosed with grade 3 triple negative breast cancer. The only way I can describe the feeling of the diagnosis is it literally takes your breath away!

At this early stage, I confided in my close friend Sarah

We’ve been friends since our children started primary school. She said she would be there “anytime for whatever I needed”.

I knew Sarah would be able to help, as she was diagnosed with primary breast cancer in 2017.

She knew first-hand what was coming and what the kids would go through

Being able to talk to somebody who understands and isn’t just going to say ‘you’ll be okay’ made all the difference.

I started neoadjuvant chemotherapy and immunotherapy in April. I thought the first thing they would do is operate and ‘get it out’ – showing my cancer naivety! For my treatment the priority was to attempt to shrink and stop it spreading further, given the aggressive nature of triple negative breast cancer.

I wanted to have a more positive outlook at the start

But with the grade 3 cancer already in my neck, the consultants were being cautious.

With my PICC line installed, weekly treatment became every 3 weeks. Looking back I’m not sure which side effect I found the hardest. You think you’ve got on top of one, then something else is thrown at you.

I hit a new low when Sarah broke the news that her cancer was back

It was back, and it was metastatic.

I was devastated, and found it difficult to comprehend the unfairness of it. One of my first thoughts was, how would I be able to help her when I’m mid-treatment.

Sarah and I wanted our families to have something positive to focus on

The kids are a big focus for both of us, so we decided to hold an Afternoon Tea. We could include them in the journey to raise awareness, help them speak about cancer at home and achieve something positive out of it all.

We turned our attention to the fundraiser

There was no other option for me and Sarah, given the circumstances, but to go big.

The school mums, family and friends were all roped in to help. One of the school mums organised the raffle prizes, which was a huge help.

Sarah started an event on Facebook to promote the tea, and as soon as we added our personal story, the event just grew.

It wasn’t easy for me to share my story

It was my first and only post about my treatment, so it did come as a surprise to some people. But it touched people and really helped promote the event. Everyone wanted to help.

The Afternoon Tea was amazing!

To have so many people, family, friends and neighbours together, you could feel the love! There was a real buzz on the day.

The food and drinks were flowing out of the kitchen, and luckily we had friends and family to help. Everyone had a job and they were so passionate about being part of the day.

We sold tea, cakes, played games and had a raffle – we had loads of raffle prizes, and the draw was very entertaining. The raffle made a big difference to the fundraising total.

The amount we raised was staggering, beyond any expectations!

Afternoon Tea was a much-needed distraction for me

I needed to do something to make sure others have access to Breast Cancer Now’s support.

Your thoughts can understandably go to some dark places and having the right support available is vital. Whether that’s via the online forum, the Becca app or someone at the end of the phone. Knowing I could turn to Breast Cancer Now for the right information was a great support.

The fundraiser gave me the boost I needed to keep smiling

I’m now post-surgery and radiotherapy, with no evidence of disease. I’m trying to move forward, dealing with ongoing side effects from treatment and planning how to return to work. It’s really hard to capture here what’s thrown at you during treatment and what you become capable of.

When things are tough don’t underestimate what you’re still capable of. Bring on the next fundraising event!