I want to show that even with a secondary diagnosis, you can still lead a full and active life

I’m Amanda, a wife and mum to 3 girls, plus our dog.

I was diagnosed with primary breast cancer at 42, after discovering a patch of dry skin on my nipple that wouldn’t heal.

My diagnosis came as a huge shock

I had a lumpectomy, radiotherapy and then started taking tamoxifen.

At the time, I had 3 young girls aged 10, 8 and 4. They didn’t really understand what was going on. I made a full recovery and after 5 years, I was signed off by my oncologist.

Breast Cancer Now’s services really helped me with my primary diagnosis

You don’t know where to turn, finding people who’ve had a similar experience is really helpful.  

There’s so much misinformation out there, so to have trusted information can put your mind at rest. And getting information from others going down a similar path is a great comfort.

I was so relieved to finally have cancer behind me

I started walking and signed up for the London Moonwalk, which I did almost a year to the day I had my lumpectomy. I felt a huge sense of achievement having walked the equivalent of a marathon.

I wanted to give back to Breast Cancer Now, so decided to hold an Afternoon Tea.

Afternoon Tea felt like the perfect fit

I love baking and have always baked my children’s birthday cakes – they seem to get more elaborate each year. My youngest is also a keen baker, so it’s really nice to do that together.

I roped all of my friends into helping me

They baked, sourced raffle prizes and on the day made sure the kettle was always on and that no one had an empty teacup. It was brilliant to have that support.

On the lead up to the event, you worry that no one’s going to turn up, but the next moment there’s so much noise and chatter at your tea party.

We wanted to raise awareness too

My own diagnosis wasn’t found by a lump, so I wanted people to be aware of the other signs and symptoms to look out for. The more awareness you can raise, the better.

People were so generous at my Afternoon Tea – everyone knows someone affected by cancer and all my guests were very happy to donate.

To raise extra money, we decided to hold a raffle and play some games.

We had lots of good feedback from the day – everyone loved the cakes and getting together. So we held a few more over the years.

My fundraising didn’t stop at Afternoon Tea

The next year, my best friend was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer. A group of us signed up to do the Moonwalk again and my best friend met us at the finishing line, which was a very emotional feeling. I also ran the London Landmarks Half Marathon.

The following year I started getting back ache

I put it down to muscle strain and thought nothing more of it. But during Covid, the pain got progressively worse. After several trips to my GP, they put me on strong pain killers and suggested physio.

Nothing seemed to help, and the pain became unbearable

I begged my GP for an X-ray and in September 2021, my GP finally agreed.

The next day I was immediately asked to go back to the hospital for an MRI. I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer and admitted the same day with spinal cord compression caused by spinal metastasis.

I had to have an operation to put a metal cage in and inject cement into my spine to stabilise it. At no point had anyone told me that because of my primary diagnosis, my back ache could be a sign of secondary breast cancer.

I am now thankfully fit and well, and still on my first line of treatment

Secondary breast cancer can often be overlooked, and people don’t always understand or know what to look for.

So for me, it’s important to help raise awareness and give feedback on services – which is why I now volunteer for Breast Cancer Voices.

I’m always looking for a new challenge and new experiences to show that even with my diagnosis, you can still lead a full and active life.

I have also discovered that I have the faulty BRCA2 gene

This means my daughters, now aged 23, 20 and 16, have a 50/50 chance of also having it.

If you’re thinking of holding an Afternoon Tea, you should

Unlike sporting fundraisers, you don’t have to train, and everyone can eat cake and drink tea. You can take part if you’re 9 or 90 – everyone can get involved and have fun.

I’ll absolutely be holding another Afternoon Tea, and I’m really inspired by other Afternoon Tea fundraisers. I’d love to hold a tea at a bigger venue and raise even more money to support people affected by breast cancer.