Diagnosed just after her 50th birthday, Rani faced anxiety during treatment and isolation after. The Moving Forward course helped her connect with people who understood what she was going through and inspired her to start volunteering.
Could you tell us about your breast cancer journey?
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2018. It was completely out of the blue. I’d just turned 50 and was invited for a screening. I wanted to get it out of the way as my little sister had booked tickets for us to go to Dubai to celebrate my birthday.
But after the screening, I was called back repeatedly for appointments, biopsies and scans. I was just in shock, attending them on autopilot, week after week. Eventually, they confirmed my diagnosis. I now had to make a life-altering decision about my body.
I decided on a , which I found heartbreaking. I was losing a part of me. I was offered surgery, but after discussing it my surgeon, I decided against it.
I was so scared, and felt like my life had just stopped. I had all these questions: has the cancer spread? How long will I have left? I had so many more things I wanted to do, and so many different emotions.
I got the all-clear in early 2019. The surgery had completely removed any cancer and all the tests had come back clear. I wouldn’t need or , though I’d need to take for 5 years.
What support did you receive after your treatment?
I had a phased return to work to get some normality. Work was quite supportive but I felt like I wanted to hide, still traumatised by what had happened to my body.
During and after my cancer journey, I had limited support from family and friends. They just didn’t want to talk to me about it. I think they were scared to bring it up.
Once I had the all-clear, it was like: “nothing to talk about, Rani is fine now.” I was taken to and from appointments, that sort of thing. But what I needed was someone just to ask me how I felt. I felt numb: I hated looking at my body and was terrified that the cancer would come back.
As an Asian woman who already has a hidden disability, it’s extremely hard. In my personal experience, people with a disability or a cancer diagnosis are still stigmatised in many parts of our society. And as a woman, you’re made to feel you’re a burden and that you’ve become less capable. That impacts your self-esteem and makes social interaction so much harder.
I stopped attending local Asian events and family events for quite a while, hiding myself away. I know of a few Asian ladies who wouldn’t dream of telling their family that they’ve been diagnosed with cancer.
Although our community can provide a great source of care and strength, and every family is different, traditional norms still pose serious barriers. So much more work needs to be done in the Asian community to raise awareness. I really hope that happens.
How did you get involved with Moving Forward?
Some time after surgery, a nurse asked if I’d be interested in attending a Moving Forward course. I thought it sounded great: at last, I could share my story with other women who’d been through similar things.
I signed up for the course nearest to me, which was actually at the hospital where I’d had my surgery. I arrived on the first day a bit anxious, not sure what to expect. But a lovely volunteer greeted me, put me ease and made me a cuppa.
All of us had different stories about the challenges that we faced and our fears for the future, but we all really related to each other and got on so well.
I really enjoyed the sessions and felt so positive after them. Some of us who met on the course set up a WhatsApp group, and we all still keep in touch. It gives us somewhere to reach out when we want to talk.
Not long after the course, I signed up to become a Moving Forward volunteer. I successfully made it through the interview late last year, and started my first volunteer session in April. It’s been amazing to listen, share stories and relate to each other’s experiences.
It’s an honour to give something back, too. I’ve since volunteered at other events, including the Commonwealth Games. I’ve met so many great people volunteering and it’s really built my confidence back up.
Want to get involved?
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