Resources for talking with children about breast cancer

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk 

By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazilsh

Provides effective step-by-step techniques to help you improve and enrich your relationships with your children.

Available to buy online.

Talking to children and teenagers when an adult has cancer

By Macmillan Cancer Support

Explains how to tell a child or teenager about cancer, and also helps you understand their reactions and gives tips on how to help them cope.

Download this resource on the Macmillan Cancer Support website here.

As big as it gets

By Winston's Wish (now Child Bereavement UK)

Designed for parents, carers and professionals and offers some guidance 
and practical ideas for families as they try to make sense of a cancer diagnosis.

Download this Winston's Wish resource as a PDF here.

Books for children

The following books are available to buy online.

The Colour Monster (age 2-4 years)

By Anna Llenas 

One day, Colour Monster wakes up feeling very confused. His emotions are all over the place; he feels angry, happy, calm, sad and scared all at once! To help him, a little girl shows them what each feeling means through colour.

What is the Colour Monster feeling? And can you help him feel a little less mixed up?

A gentle exploration of feelings for young and old alike.

The Invisible String (age 3-6 years)

By Patrice Karst and Joanne Lew-Vriethoff

The Invisible String offers a very simple approach to overcoming loneliness, separation, or loss with an imaginative twist that children easily understand and embrace, and delivers a particularly compelling message in today's uncertain times.

Mum's Purple Scarf (age 3-10 years)

By Jane Gillard and Janet Croll

Mum is fun ... but then she got sick. Her sickness is called cancer.

Cancer means lots of changes for the whole family. Mum loses her hair and is often tired, friends drop off food and we have to help with extra chores.

Mum's Purple Scarf helps children learn what to expect when a parent is diagnosed with cancer, and that talking to other people can help navigate the confusion.

My Dad and the Dragon (age 3-10 years)

By Montserrat Coughlin Kim and Rebekah S Cheresnick

A cancer dragon snuck inside Cameron's dad, and Cameron will show you what that is like in day-to-day life.

Nurse Ted (age 4-8 years)

By Dr Ffion Jones

Aims to help parents or other family members who have cancer explain their diagnoses and treatment to their children and provides a reassuring way to present information in an easy-to-understand format.

Sitting still like a frog (age 5-12 years)

By Eline Snel

This little book is a very appealing introduction to mindfulness meditation for children and their parents. In a simple and accessible way, it describes what mindfulness is and how mindfulness-based practices can help children calm down, become more focused, fall asleep more easily, alleviate worry, manage anger, and generally become more patient and aware.

The Secret C (age 7-10 years)

By Julie Stokes and Peter Bailey

This booklet is aimed at supporting parents or carers with this task, and encourages open communication and questions about cancer within the family.

Books for teenagers

The following book is available to buy online.

My parent has cancer and it really sucks (age 14-18 years)

By Marc Silver and Maya Silver

Let's face it, cancer sucks. This book provides real-life advice from real-life teens designed to help teens live with a parent who is fighting cancer.

Books for children with additional needs

The following book is available to buy online.

I Have a Question about Cancer (age 5-11 years)

By Arlen Grad Gaines and Meredith Englander Polsky

Cancer is a difficult topic for any parent, caregiver or educator to explain to a child. This book is designed to help kids, including children with autism spectrum disorder or other additional needs, to understand what it means when someone in their life has cancer.

Books for children

The following books are available to buy online.

Missing Mummy (age 2-6 years)

By Rebecca Cobb

This book deals with the loss of a parent from a child's point of view. Perfectly pitched text and evocative artwork explore the many emotions a bereaved child may experience, from anger to guilt and from sadness to bewilderment. And importantly, the book also focuses on the positive - the recognition that the child is still part of a family, and that his memories of his mother are to be treasured.

Why do things die? (age 2-6 years)

By Katie Daynes

A beautiful and gentle look at the circle of life, using Christine Pym's gorgeous animals characters to explore the emotions and facts around death, with questions such as Is it ok to talk about dying? What happens when someone dies? Can I shout and cry and hide away? and How can I stop feeling sad?

The Goodbye book (age 2-6 years)

By Todd Parr

Through the lens of a pet fish who has lost his companion, Todd Parr tells a moving and wholly accessible story about saying goodbye. Touching upon the host of emotions children experience, Todd reminds readers that it's okay not to know all the answers and that someone will always be there to support them. An invaluable resource for life's toughest moments.

The Garden of Hope (age 3-6 years)

By Isabel Otter and Katie Rewse

This enchanting tale tells the story of a little girl who finds courage and purpose as she transforms an overgrown and neglected garden into a place of beauty, love… and ultimately hope.

Always and Forever (age 3-8 years)

By Debi Gliori and Alan Durant

When Fox dies the rest of his family are absolutely distraught. How will Mole, Otter and Hare go on without their beloved friend? But, months later, Squirrel reminds them all of how funny Fox used to be, and they realise that Fox is still there in their hearts and memories.

Only one of me (age 4-7 years)

By Lisa Wells, Michelle Robinson and Catalina Echeverri

The Only One of Me project grew from Lisa's determination to leave a lasting legacy for her daughters and her desire to help other families rally against the difficulties of loss.

Let's Talk About When Someone Dies (age 4-8 years)

By Molly Potter and Sarah Jennings

When someone dies, we can feel a whole host of different emotions and explaining them to a child isn't so easy. This book uses clear, easy-to-understand language to answer complex questions about death and how a child might feel when someone dies. It covers all manner of tricky subjects with sensitivity and honesty, from what death is to why people die.

Fox & Goldfish (age 4-8 years)

By Frith Williams and Nils Pieters

Fox knows that Goldfish is very unwell. Before it’s too late, he takes his friend on an epic adventure beyond the fishbowl. Together they take a splash in the ocean, go for a bike ride in the Grand Canyon, admire Mount Fuji, explore the jungle, go skiing and even make it to the moon. Then time has come for Fox to let go of Goldfish. At least he’s shown him the entire world. Some things – like friendship, farewells, and the beauty of the world – are almost beyond words.

Nurse Ted - a children's guide to terminal illness (age 4-8 years)

By Dr Ffion Jones

This child friendly story helps parents and caregivers who have a terminal illness explain their diagnosis to their children. With a glossary of terms, parent's/carer's section, and a questions and answers page, "Nurse Ted" is an invaluable tool to help support children when someone in the family has a terminal illness.

Hamza attends a Janaza (age 4-8 years)

By Shabana Hussain and Atefeh Mohammadzadeh

This story is a gentle introduction to attending an Islamic funeral, told from a child’s perspective. It familiarises children with the etiquettes and some of the rituals surrounding a funeral and provides an opportunity for important discussions around death and the afterlife in an age-appropriate manner. 

Her Mother's Face (age 4-10 years)

By Roddy Doyle

Siobhan can remember the way her mother joked. And she can just about feel her mother's hands, lifting her up. But she can't remember her mother's face any more. Then one day, a mysterious woman appears and tells Siobhan a secret, something that will bring back all that's been forgotten... 

Goodbye Mousie (age 4-8 years)

By Robie Harris and Jan Ormerod

One morning a boy finds that his pet, Mousie, won't wake up. The truth is Mousie has died. At first the boy doesn't believe it. He gets very mad at Mousie for dying, and then he feels very sad. But talking about Mousie, burying Mousie in a special box, and saying good-bye helps this boy begin to feel better about the loss of his beloved pet.

The Scar (age 5-7 years)

By Charlotte Moundlic and Olivier Tallec

When the boy in this story wakes to find that his mother has died, he is overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and fear that he will forget her. He shuts all the windows to keep in his mother’s familiar smell and scratches open the cut on his knee to remember her comforting voice. He doesn’t know how to speak to his dad anymore, and when Grandma visits and throws open the windows, it’s more than the boy can take — until his grandmother shows him another way to feel that his mom’s love is near. With tenderness, touches of humor, and unflinching emotional truth.

Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine (age 5-10 years)

By Diana Crossley and Kate Sheppard

Offers practical and sensitive support for bereaved children. Beautifully illustrated, it suggests a helpful series of activities and exercises accompanied by the friendly characters of Bee and Bear. This book offers a structure and an outlet for the many difficult feelings which inevitably follow when someone dies.

When Dinosaurs Die (age 5-8 years)

By Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

Straightforward and comprehensive, this indispensable book is a comforting aid to help young kids and families through a difficult time in their lives. No one can really understand death, but to children, the passing away of a loved one can be especially perplexing and troublesome. 

What on earth do you do when someone dies? (age 5-10 years)

By Trevor Romain and Elizabeth Verdick

This book can help you through a painful time. Trevor answers questions you might wonder about, in simple, honest words. He describes the strong, confusing feelings you might have and suggests ways to feel better. He tells you it's okay to cry, talk about the death, grieve and go on with your life.

You will be okay (age 9+ years)

By Julie Stokes

In this honest, comforting and strength-building guide Julie Stokes, a clinical psychologist and founder of childhood bereavement charity Winston's Wish, provides readers with the tools they need to navigate this tough and turbulent time.

Us Minus Mum (age 9+ years)

By Heather Butler

George and Theo's mum is brilliant. She tells great stories, can wave the fastest of anyone on the planet and, most importantly, she was the one who suggested they adopt a scruffy dog called Goffo. The boys think she's invincible. But they're wrong. Because Mum is ill. Really ill. It's up to George and Theo to keep Mum smiling. Which will almost probably definitely involve wellies, shepherd's pie and Goffo's victory at the pet talent show.

Books for teenagers

The following books are available to buy online.

You Just Don't Understand (age 12+ years)

By Winston's Wish (now Child Bereavement UK)

Offers practical advice for families and professionals supporting bereaved teenagers. It aims to help you understand what is normal adolescent development, and to recognise the additional problems teenagers may face if someone important dies during these years.

My parent has cancer and it really sucks (age 14-18 years)

By Marc Silver and Maya Silver

Let's face it, cancer sucks. This book provides real-life advice from real-life teens designed to help teens live with a parent who is fighting cancer.

Help Me Say Goodbye (age 11-14 years)

By Janis Silverman

An art therapy and activity book for children coping with death. Sensitive exercises address all the questions children may have during this emotional and troubling crisis. Children are encouraged to express in pictures what they are often incapable of expressing in words.

Books for children with additional needs

The following book is available to buy online.

I Have a Question about Death (age 5-11 years)

By Arlen Grad Gaines and Meredith Englander Polsky

Death is a difficult topic for any parent or educator to explain to a child, perhaps even more so when they are autistic or have other special needs. This book is designed specifically to help children with these additional needs to understand what happens when someone dies.

Fruitfly Collective 

Fruitfly Collective is a team of experts who are either living with cancer or providing cancer care or parenting support.

Maggie's 

Maggie's is everyone's home of cancer care

Macmillan 

Macmillan Cancer Support is doing whatever it takes to help more people with cancer get the best care the UK has to offer, whoever and wherever they are.

Hope Support Services 

Hope Support Services is the UK's leading registered charity helping young people aged 5-25 when a loved one has a serious illness.

The Osborne Trust 

The Osborne Trust supports children and young people across the UK & Northern Ireland whose parent have a cancer diagnosis, are undergoing cancer treatment, has seen a cancer recurrence, died from cancer & beyond.

Support for metastatic (secondary) breast cancer

Ruth Strauss Foundation

Ruth Strauss Foundation provides emotional support for families to prepare for the death of a parent.

Child Bereavement UK (Winston’s Wish and Child Bereavement UK have come together)

Child Bereavement UK supports grieving children and young people (up to 25), and parents bereaved of a child to find hope and rebuild their lives.

Marie Curie 

Marie Curie is here for anyone living with any illness they’re likely to die from, and those close to them. We provide free palliative and end of life care, information and support.

Cruse 

Cruse Bereavement Support helps people through one of the most painful times in life – with bereavement support, information and campaigning.

Willow Foundation 

The Willow Foundation has helped make wishes come true for seriously ill young adults and their loved ones by creating bespoke Special Days and Special Treats tailored to their individual needs.

Something to look forward to 

Something To Look Forward is a charity website for people with cancer, and their families, to access a variety of gifts and experiences that are generously donated by companies and individuals.

SeeSaw grief support 

SeeSaw provides support for children, young people and their families in Oxfordshire when they have been bereaved or when somebody close to them is terminally ill.

Counselling Directory

Counselling Directory will help when you're going through a difficult time. It can be easy to keep your worries to yourself and believe that you're the only one experiencing these feelings. We all have our ways of coping, however, through our own experiences, we've learnt how important it is to have relevant, accessible information, and how the right support can help transform lives.

Record Me Now

RecordMeNow app lets you make a lasting video legacy for yourself, your family and loved ones. It is also good for life review. The app is question-prompting and video-recording. It is non-denominational, private and free.

Jigsaw

Jigsaw South East provides information and guidance to help support children and young people facing or coping with the death of a loved one. We support families in Surrey, and nearby areas of East and West Sussex and Kent. 

The Little C Club 

The Little C Club designed and created a set of flash cards to help open up difficult conversations, to promote open and honest communication and hopefully take a little bit of the scary away from that big C, allowing children to grow up sound in the knowledge that they have been included.