My mum never let cancer stop her

How did you find out your mum had breast cancer?

I’m sharing my story on behalf of my lovely mum, who passed away in July 2024 from triple negative breast cancer.

My mum told me about her cancer in June 2023, once I had completed my A-levels and a few days after my birthday. She didn’t want to stress me out any further and wanted me to have a couple of months left of ‘happiness’, if that’s even the right word, before the world came crashing down.

The shock of hearing my mum had cancer when I was 18 was incredibly difficult. But nowhere near as much of a shock as it was for my mum.

What were the early days of treatment like?

I remember my mum being so positive about her diagnosis. She explained everything about the process and the doctors believed that she would recover after treatment.

It was a tough journey for everyone emotionally. Our new normal was multiple appointments, scans, waiting anxiously for test results, chemotherapy, operations and radiotherapy.

I remember thinking, when will this end? When will cancer leave my mum alone?!

When did things change?

My mum started chemotherapy. But unfortunately, the cancer was not shrinking or reacting to the treatment as the doctors had hoped, so my mum had to try various chemotherapy treatments.

After 2 operations, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and numerous appointments and tests, the doctors informed us that mum’s cancer was never going to go away.

This hit us all deeply. From what looked like a positive journey of treatment from the start, to now being told the cancer was never going to go. It hurt. It really did.

I can’t imagine how scared my mum was. I was worried about losing my mum every day.  But I never let that on to my mum, or at least I tried.

What do you admire most about your mum?

My mum never let her cancer stop her from doing the day-to-day things or the things she loved. Don’t get me wrong, she was in pain and found it incredibly difficult, but she carried on.

I will always admire my mum’s strength and the love she had during her diagnosis.

When did things get more complicated?

In July 2024, my mum got sepsis for the second time. My mum fought off sepsis the first time while battling cancer, and I truly believed she would be able to this time too.

Unfortunately, the sepsis and the cancer were too aggressive for my mum to fight against, and my mum sadly passed away in July 2024. Exactly a month after I turned 19.

What have you learnt since losing your mum?

I walked into the hospital expecting to come back with mum. Instead, I came out of the hospice with a memory box.

One of the many things I’ve learnt from losing mum is that life can change dramatically so quickly. It can change in a matter of moments.

I had never heard of triple negative breast cancer before mum got diagnosed with it. While mum was receiving treatment she made many friends with the same type of breast cancer. Some of them managed to recover from it, and some were in the same boat as my mum.

What moments has your mum missed?

My 20 and 21 birthdays. Starting my new full-time job and succeeding in it. Seeing me go off on some incredible holidays for the first time, like Mexico. Unfortunately, she missed me going to Lanzarote in 2024, soon after she passed, despite us already packing my suitcase a month prior as I was so excited. Buying a new car all by myself. And it indeed was the Polo I told her I’d always wanted to buy one day. Witnessing my growth as a person, and my confidence as I’m now navigating young adult life. And the quiet daily moments. Simply wanting to text, hug, or speak to my mum.

Why did you want to share your story and be part of Reserved?

I wanted to share my story and raise awareness of breast cancer and grief. Breast Cancer Now are doing an incredible job trying to raise awareness and share people’s stories. I hope one day a cure is found.

Join us. Reserve their space.

Throughout our Reserved campaign, we're reserving spaces for people lost to breast cancer. An empty chair, a place set, a sign left at a meaningful spot. It's a way of celebrating their memory, while showing the impact of every absence, and the urgent action needed to change the future of breast cancer.

If you've lost someone to breast cancer, you can reserve a space for them at a meaningful moment or place.