She did more in her 34 years than I’ve done in my 60-odd

Tell us about Vicki

I have, or had, 4 daughters. Vicki was my second. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at only 30 years old, and she died at 34. She left behind a husband and 2 young sons.

Vicki was really feisty. From the minute she got here. She was very independent, knew her own mind and was more confident than her older sister.

She was always on the make. Always wanting to make money. When she was about 8 or 9, she was selling newspapers. One day the next-door neighbour came round. They asked me to have word with her, because she was selling yesterday’s papers for more than the actual price. But they didn’t have the heart to say no, because she was such an entrepreneur.

When Vicki left school, she went to Colchester University but dropped out to go backpacking around Eastern Europe. I said, “she can’t just go, she needs money.” So, she got herself 3 jobs, raised the money in a month, and went travelling. Anything she set her mind to, she could do.

Her dad, my ex-husband, had a company called Regal Pawn, selling antiques and jewellery and stuff. They had a programme on TV called Pawn Stars UK, as in pawn brokers, and she was on that for 2 series. That went all over the world, to India and China and Canada.

She did more in her 34 years than I’ve done in my 60-odd.

What would Vicki make of your fundraising?

I don’t run fast, but I can stay on my feet long enough to get around the Great North Run and the London Marathon. I run and take part in fundraising for my own mental health and to keep my beautiful Vicki’s memories alive.

She was never very sporty, so she could never understand why I’d want to go running. I’m sure she’d be looking down thinking, what the hell are you doing now? But Vicki would’ve liked that I’m fundraising. She was always raising funds and awareness herself for various charities. 

I’ve completed the Swim 10 Miles Challenge too. I’d really underestimated how far a 10-mile swim was. I thought, “well, I can run 10 miles, 10 miles isn’t far.” Then I Googled it and realised it was 644 lengths. Then I thought, what have I done now? It was a challenge, but I got it done.

I’m also doing the Walk 100 miles in October, and the London Marathon in 2027. That’ll be my fourth London Marathon and my fourth marathon for Breast Cancer Now.

When do you miss Vicki most?

It’s usually something random, isn’t it? A smell. A song on the radio. They’re all just moments that hit you. Moments when you think, “oh she’d have loved this", or "she’d have something to say about this.”

At weddings, too. Her sisters have all got married since she died. When her half-sister got married, she had samples of Vicki’s handwriting embroidered into her veil. So Vicki was at her wedding in a roundabout way. Her other sisters also made sure there was something at their weddings to signify Vicki so she was still involved in in their big day.

Even Mother’s Day. When I go out with the girls for afternoon tea, we always have a chair there for her.

Vicki absolutely loved Christmas. She’d get the boys to make treats for their whole class. I was always a bit humbug about it, and she had a massive go at me for it before she died. Now I do embrace it. It’s almost like I do it for Vicki.

And seeing her boys growing up. Her youngest has just started high school, and he'd only just started primary school when she died.

Why did you take part in the Reserved campaign?

It’s to share Vicki’s story with people who don’t know her. Sometimes I think people must get sick to death of hearing me chatter about Vicki. But there’s still so much of Vicki’s story to tell. She lives on as far as I’m concerned. She’s still all around.

What I hadn’t realised was how cathartic and how therapeutic being in the film was going to be. It was a lovely experience, and the team were amazing.

When I’d finished the filming, I just remember feeling so at peace. A few more people know about Vicki now. Honestly, it was like the best therapy in the world, which I hadn’t thought about or expected at all.

What would you say to someone who’s lost someone?

I would say, just be ready for the roller coaster. I’m a mental health nurse by profession. I thought I understood depression. I thought I understood anxiety. I thought I understood bereavement. I’ve worked in care since I was 16, and I was so unprepared for that roller coaster.

I did get, and still occasionally have, therapy. That’s my choice, because I do believe there’s a benefit to it. It’s helped me resolve so many other issues I didn’t even know I had.

And we keep her memory going. Every time there’s a gathering it’ll be, “do you remember when Vicki did this?” Or “do you remember when Vicki did that?”

And finally, I think find people, family, friends, and just talk.

Join us. Reserve their space.

Throughout our Reserved campaign, we're reserving spaces for people lost to breast cancer. An empty chair, a place set, a sign left at a meaningful spot. It's a way of celebrating their memory, while showing the impact of every absence, and the urgent action needed to change the future of breast cancer.

If you've lost someone to breast cancer, you can reserve a space for them at a meaningful moment or place.