Someone Like Me helped me when breast cancer shattered my world

Tell us about your first diagnosis

I was first diagnosed when I was 39. It was an earth-shattering 6 weeks before my 40th birthday.

I was really angry. Bitter. Resentful of everyone else. My friends and I were planning our big 40th birthdays, and I felt robbed.

Feeling this way really shook me. I’m not normally that sort of person. It felt like the diagnosis had fundamentally changed me in every way. Physically. Biologically. It took away who I was.

I was terrified that I wouldn’t see my 6-year-old son, Louis, grow up. I remember thinking “this is not fair, he’s too little”.

I became withdrawn and I didn’t really understand it. I was scared because I didn’t know if I would be able to do it.

How did you find out about Someone Like Me?

After my first diagnosis, I didn’t know anyone else my age who had breast cancer. I knew older people who had it, but I didn’t know anyone in their 30s. It was quite isolating.

I contacted Breast Cancer Now’s helpline in a state of shock. Horror. Confusion.

They told me about Someone Like Me. The service connects you to another person who has experienced what you’re currently going through. Being matched up in this way almost feels like a blind date between people with breast cancer.

What was the best thing about Someone Like Me?

I was put in touch with a lady who had the same diagnosis as me. She was also in her late 30s and her children were a similar age to my son. I looked forward to her calls so much.

I felt like I was really understood by someone who had experienced what I was currently going through. She was able to understand my fear of not seeing Louis grow up. But she didn’t just tell me that it would all be ok, which is exactly what my friends & family (understandably) were saying.

She became the most familiar stranger and such an important part of me coping in the early days of my diagnosis and treatment.

It was invaluable to me. I always recommend Someone Like Me to anyone I come across.

How did you feel after your Someone Like Me calls?

After every call I felt a sense of calm amongst the craziness of tests and appointments. She listened in a way that others couldn't and she allowed me to be really honest. I found myself at times not wanting to burden my family with just how scared I was as I knew hard it was for them and I felt guilty for putting them through this.

On my calls I didn't have to worry about being so open. Sharing my fears with her released anxiety and lightened how heavy things felt. I will forever be grateful for our calls.

Talk us through your second diagnosis. How did you feel this time?

After my first diagnosis, I was entered in the screening programme and had annual mammograms. My 5th one showed a tiny shadow. The doctors biopsied it as a precaution. The results showed it was another primary breast cancer.

I definitely wasn’t expecting to get cancer a second time. But 5 years had passed since the first one. And I dealt with the diagnosis in a very different way.

I had genetic testing and it showed I have the BRCA2 gene. Everything started to make sense to me. It made me realise that this gene is the reason why I had breast cancer. It was nothing to do with what I did. I knew I couldn’t blame myself.

I coped with things better. When talking through my treatment plan the second time round, I felt that I actually knew what to do. We decided I would have a double mastectomy with immediate implants.

This time, I knew I could do it. 

How are you feeling now?

I am living my best life now! I turned 50 a couple of years ago. I was so down about missing my 40th but we more than made up for it this time. The cancer tainted a lot of my 40s. But I want to re-write my 50s.

How else have you been involved with Breast Cancer Now?

Cancer is a very different part of my life now. I’ve volunteered, fundraised and I’m getting involved in lots of different ways. My husband has run London Marathon 4 times for Breast Cancer Now and I was his biggest supporter. I helped him campaign to get more donations. I'm really hoping he and my son are successful for next year too!

But when I turned 50, I wanted to do something myself. I stepped out of my comfort zone and took part in Breast Cancer Now’s latest advertising campaign.

It was a fascinating experience. I had no idea what happened behind-the-scenes! It was so far from my everyday life. I really enjoyed it.

I was honoured to wave the flag for the breast cancer community and women who have the BRCA2 gene. Celebrating how fabulous my body is for getting me through my treatments and surgeries was amazing.